Intuition
by Meowser Clancy
Summary: Kate saw it from the beginning. She'd seen too many others experiencing the same thing to miss the signs. Drabbles for each episode of the season, from Kate's POV, focusing on JJ, and her PTSD.
1. X

Kate couldn't figure JJ out. One minute she was friendly and welcoming, and the next she was staring into the distance.

One minute she shared, the next minute she hid away.

And on the way home... _Tortured. Last year._

PTSD. Kate could read the warning signs. She'd worked with too many people—women—to miss it.

The BAU didn't notice...didn't want to notice?

So Kate kept quiet.

She left it at the office, went home to her family.

But as the day turned to dawn...and noon...and night...she thought of JJ. And wondered.


	2. Burn

Kate watched JJ and Morgan leave the station and wondered what her place was here. Hotch, Rossi and Reid seemed to suddenly know exactly what they were supposed to be doing.

She turned to Hotch. "You do this every time?"

"Sometimes all that's needed is JJ and Morgan," Hotch replies.

She wonders how this makes JJ feel. Is she overwhelmed? Or does she welcome the responsibility? Is it a trust thing?

Or a question of duty?

They return. Kate watches JJ. There's a certain satisfaction in her that doesn't go away until their next case is called.


	3. A Thousand Suns

JJ knows. She looks at Kate and seems to see straight into her soul. She is the one to suggest the memorials. She is the one who finally pulls Kate into a hug as they depart the airplane at the case's end.

She knows. She knows how it feels to lose someone, in a way that can't always be talked about.

Kate feels her strong arms and hears whispered words: "I'm here to talk about it."

Of course she is. Because she knows, all too well, about going it alone. Kate wonders why she does it then.


	4. The Itch

Frustration. Maybe even more than that. JJ is furious.

Kate watches her as the case ends, as Reid tells another fascinating (but horrifying) factoid.

As Hotch pulls JJ aside to talk to her. Kate is gladdened by this; they notice more than they let on. Kate's disappointed with herself for doubting this.

She knows why JJ is frustrated. It always sucks when you can't get through to someone.

But why does JJ _blame_ herself for it so much? For one woman? It's such an extreme reaction and Kate wonders if she'll ever get the full answer.


	5. If the Shoe Fits

There's a struggle, the whole case. Kate watches JJ and there's something inside the other agent, trying to get out.

A restless itch; a wandering eye.

Until the end. Until Spencer saves the day by playing prince.

Kate sees the peace on JJ's face on the flight home. It's like she's finally ready, finally prepared.

For what? Kate wonders. But nonetheless, she reaches out and clasps JJ's hand as she disembarks. "Good luck," she wishes.

JJ's face softens. "With what? How did you know?"

"I could tell," Kate says. "You'll be fine."


	6. Boxed In

"I've missed holidays too," Kate confided. "There was this one Easter I'd promised Meg I'd be home...and I wasn't."

JJ nodded. "Sometimes it's just harder than others," she murmured. "Like Hotch, this specific case."

"I know," Kate answered.

JJ moves back to her seat, settling into it. Kate watches her: a look comes onto JJ's face as they get closer to DC, a tenseness. By the end of the flight, all semblance of peace has evaporated.

JJ leaves the plane without looking back. Kate wants to follow, to ask. But she can't.


	7. Hashtag

"Hey, thanks for staying back to handle the press, I know that that's new for you," JJ said, rushing to Kate at the end of the day.

"Morgan needed you," Kate says. "Though I probably botched something."

JJ shrugs. "I think if Hotch is okay with what you said, and he is, you did fine."

Kate nods. "Why did you stop being a media liaison?"

JJ frowns. "It wasn't a good fit anymore," she says. "So I moved on."

"You're lucky to have been given that chance," Kate says.

She feels JJ watching her as she leaves.


	8. The Boys of Sudworth Place

It's hard for JJ to watch Morgan go through this. That's one of Kate's first clues. She can see the thoughts running through her friend's head as she studies Morgan.

This is not a first for him. Not by a long shot.

So Kate momentarily switches focus, going to Morgan after the case's end and comforting him, talking to him.

It's also because she knows that _JJ_ won't talk to her. Won't talk to anyone. She looks over at JJ and she's instinctively curled up into herself, away from the team.


	9. Fate

Rossi is the one who captures her attention this case. At the end of the day, he's gone off to pursue his family and Kate thinks she knows how he feels...

If she hadn't had Meg all these years, she doesn't know what she'd have done. To be Rossi now... She can't imagine those feelings.

JJ seems to also be thinking of her child. They are both quieter on their ride, wondering what they'd do in that situation. JJ seems to have an extra weight on her mind besides; Kate can't guess what.


	10. Amelia Porter

Kate thinks of consequences on the way home; choices made that change the life of those around you.

She looks at JJ and _knows_ that this woman has made more than her fair share of these. And it's hurting her, even now. It's hurting her to remember and second guess what she might have done to avoid pain, suffering, lying...

Kate wants to say that she knows what it's like to have to lie, to keep things so close to your heart that they burn you. But she can't. Fear stops the words of dubious comfort.


	11. The Forever People

Derek tells her, after a moment of pained silence. He tells her what JJ went through last year and Kate's heart sinks. She didn't expect it to be so close to what she'd feared.

And after, she wants to talk to her. And she does.

"I can't guess what you felt during those times and I understand not wanting to talk about it. But I've been there, in one way or another, JJ. You're not alone."

JJ just shakes her head in pure misery. "You haven't," she whispers, no blame in her voice.


	12. Anonymous

There's almost a veil over the topic. It's like JJ has officially declared everything off limits.

Kate mourns to see her hiding again when just a week ago everything had been out in the open.

She jokes with Morgan and talks with Hotch about the latest victim: Estelle, whose father had finally been able to donate his organs to her.

Rossi is off making farewells today.

She can't imagine being in that life or death situation. Your life...or someone else's. Kate hopes she never has to make that choice; has that burden on her shoulders.


	13. Nelson's Sparrow

There is a certain touch of nostalgia around JJ, as if she is currently living in the past, before all of her missteps and regrets had taken place.

She is walking around as though she can feel her old mentor present in the log cabin, fingers caressing the bird drawings. She is voicing memories of a past with Gideon; his genius, his hubris, everything.

For one incompleted class, Kate had been taught by one of the best.

One who eventually wanted justice at any cost. Sometimes Kate's afraid she'll turn out like him.

She hopes JJ won't.


	14. Hero Worship

She hates this UnSub. She hates how completely selfish he is. She hates how many people died because of a man's pride.

Or lack of pride.

She boards the airplane in a huff, still stinging over how it _could_ have happened.

JJ surprises her by coming over. "It's over, Kate," she assures her. "We're all good."

"I just always...forget...how incredibly selfish people can be sometimes," Kate struggles.

JJ nods. "Yeah, but there are always the other people too. The ones they wanted to be but couldn't. Think of them."

JJ can always surprise her.


	15. Scream

There's a huge change, a shift.

She watches JJ take that beating, and she sees the look in JJ's eyes when the bullet hits Peter. The bullet that Kate shot, without one instant of hesitation.

She pities Peter, she really does.

JJ looks at her, outright staring, as if realizing for the first time that Kate has done this job too, that maybe she _does_ know what she talks about.

Later, they talk about Meg. Kate can see that JJ really wants to help now, return the favor. But she's never been the parent of a teenager.


	16. Lockdown

Her whole body aches, almost more than it ever has.

She's on the floor, next to the injured guard.

JJ and Reid run in, helping her to her feet.

Kate almost fights them, she's running high on panic and adrenaline.

She realizes whose hands are holding her.

JJ's eyes meet hers, and there's pain on her face.

"Are you okay?" She asks, her words whisper soft.

"No," Kate replies. They're out of the prison before she returns the question to JJ. "Are you?"

JJ's face contorts. "No," she whispers.

It's a hard admission.


	17. Breath Play

She's pregnant.

The news only hits her fully as Kate leaves work, ready to go tough it out with Meg again.

"Tell Henry I'll be there soon," seeing Kate there, JJ hung up. "Just called Will. So. Pregnant?"

"It's shocking to me," Kate laughs.

"This is your first time," JJ reminds herself. "I can't tell you how amazing it will be. I can't tell you how much you'll hope...and plan, even from the start. How much love you'll already have set aside by the time..."

JJ can't finish. Kate ponders why.


	18. Rock Creek Park

Her pregnancy advances. JJ always smiles to see Kate in the morning now; sometimes going so far as to press a hand to her stomach.

She asks after Kate, often. She urges her to sit down, take it slow. She packs saltines and goes out of her way to make sure that Kate never strains herself.

Kate's beginning to suspect more than JJ's previous pregnancy as the reason for this. She studies her friend carefully and notices the sharp pang of longing on JJ's face, unnoticed before.

How JJ's hand falls to her own stomach sometimes.


	19. Beyond Borders

Kate is happy to see the team return, IU behind them, and a rescued family in between.

"I'm so glad you guys saved them," she tells JJ.

"We couldn't have done it without the IU...or you and Reid," JJ tells her, pressing a hand to Kate's burgeoning stomach. "Feeling good?"

"Great," Kate says.

JJ inhales. "There's no better feeling than knowing that a parent will get to put their child to bed again."

Kate sighs. "You can tell me," she says softly. "I won't...say anything. But there's more to your story, Jayje."


	20. A Place at the Table

"Family."

JJ's words are flat.

"It all circles back to family."

Kate looks up at JJ, noticing the stress on the profiler's face.

"We'll get there," Kate said.

JJ exhales; sits down heavily. "Kate...I was deployed. To Afghanistan. Um...it was four years ago."

"And?" Kate asks, but she can see the answer coming.

"You're so lucky," JJ whispers. "To have this chance."

"What chance? What happened?"

"I lost mine," JJ says, barely audibly.

"Your chance?" Kate asks.

"My baby."

Kate reached to take JJ's hand. "Whatever they are, Jayje...your feelings are valid."


	21. Mr Scratch

Kate's afraid. She's left behind with Garcia and the whole BAU is out to catch a madman.

Kate's terrified.

They pace and worry.

Hotch is foremost on Garcia's mind. Kate's not sure about all of it, but she knows he's had close calls before.

But Kate? She's thinking about JJ. About a glowing smile a few weeks ago. A late night with Will.

JJ...

...Kate wants JJ to have that chance, if it's real, possible.

When the team is back, Kate touches JJ's arm, reassures herself that JJ's really here.


	22. Protection

It's a hard life these women lead. Kate glances at JJ as the interview ends and they have the same thought.

"Do you want to come along?" JJ asked, already out of her seat. "She seemed more drawn to you."

"Ah, no," Kate said, pressing a hand to her back. "It'd be better one on one. I know women like her. And you'll do great."

JJ nods. "Take care," she said, after a beat.

Kate was already reaching for a saltine provided by JJ. "Go ahead," she urged.

JJ hesitated and left, looking back at Kate again.


	23. The Hunt

"I wish." JJ breathes.

Kate looks at her and knows exactly what she means.

At the end of the day, regrets got you nowhere. There were just choices left.

JJ pulled Kate into her arms; so tight that for a moment she can't breathe.

She pulls away. "You'll be an amazing mother," she vows. "And I'll miss you."

Kate touches JJ's stomach. "Let this heal you," she wishes.

JJ looks at her. "Maybe now I can."

Kate leaves the BAU. She might go back: might not. She's confident in her current path. JJ is too.


End file.
